The Drinking Man’s Diet: the music video

Smirnoff: it's what's for breakfast

Smirnoff: it’s what’s for breakfast

of COURSE it exists. Allan Sherman may have written the song The Drinking Man’s Diet (inspired by the book, of course) way back in 1965, but he had to wait till 2011 for the music video, even though he was almost in time for the Monkees to be invented.

Did you know Mike Nesmith became a hundreds-of-millionsaire by virtually inventing the music video in the late 70’s? Huh. Wonder where he got the idea, eh?

Oh, I’m on the Drinking Man’s Diet,
It came from a book I was loaned.
It’s really terrific and quite scientific
And I’m half stoned.
For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka,
But cornflakes have carbohydrate;
So I don’t eat those fattening cornflakes,
I eat the vodka straight.Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It’s not as bad as we used to think.
With every Manhattan your stomach will flatten,
So drink, drink, drink.

The Air Force invented this diet,
A fact which they hotly deny.
Of course they deny it, ’cause this is the diet
That got the Air Force high.
For lunch you can have three martinis,
What better lunch is there than that?
But caution: do not eat the olives,
‘Cause olives make you fat.

Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It’s not as bad as we used to think.
If pounds you would burn off, then turn on your Smirnoff,
And drink, drink, drink.

For dinner, a nice Scotch and soda
Now that oughta help you to lose.
No whipped cream, no butter, just lay in the gutter
And booze, booze, booze.

Suppose you should meet a policeman,
Who says you’ve been quenching your thirst;
You just tell him it’s physical fitness
And health comes first!

Drink (hic!), drink (hic!), booze everywhere (hic!);
Pass that decanter of bourbon there.
I’m fatter than ever, but here’s what’s so clever:
I don’t care!

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