Food Warrior or Food Waster: The Guardian Quiz

Food is a weapon

Food is a weapon

I’d like to thank the well-paid journos at the Guardian for supplying me with the raw materials for my first real post on the brand-spankin’ new blog. You know how they get on these kicks? One year they’re all for saving an African village, the next they’re all over some wan Aussie hacker and his diplomatic cables, then it’s all Edward Snowden all the time, and as of a couple of hours ago their front page featured no fewer than three articles about the issue of food waste.

Since I’ve been living in an ecovillage for one full week, I felt I could probably do better than their columnist, who was merely challenged to live off the groceries she bought that week. I mean, I don’t know what it’s like to work for the Guardian, but it apparently involves people gifting you with food and bev, if I’m interpreting this right. Most people live off the groceries they buy. Poor girl complains about routinely throwing out chicken and fish; the solutions of simply not buying it, or freezing it and thawing it only when you need it are apparently not options for her busy life. Now, I love Zoe Williams and have read her for years, but this is just deeply, deeply WHA??? The photoeditor must have agreed, because it was awfully passive-aggressive of him to use that picture. At least I do find it heart-cockle-warming that somebody out there is being paid to liveblog simply the experience of living off of groceries. Good luck with that “suet dilemma.”

But the Guardian, in their infinite wisdom, have ascertained that we are a competitive lot, we are (and they’re not wrong) so they’ve set up not just a challenge but a quiz about food wastage which any moron could cheat their way through. I (for once) answered perfectly honestly and got, nonetheless, a perfect score. That’s what having to pack the food two miles into the bush on your back will do; you tend to pare down.

Take it yourself and let me know what you get.


Oh, well done you. You’re not perfect, but you always do your darnedest not to waste a single scrap of food. As soon as you finish eating anything, it’s placed in a bowl, covered with cling film and shoved in your fridge. You can make a roast dinner last a week. You can make a box of eggs last a month. You’re more conscientious and, therefore, have more spare cash than everyone else. Chances are that being this good at leftovers has also made you unbearably smug, though, and you don’t really have many friends any more. Oh well. More five-day-old risotto for you!

Yeah? Yeah?

u so jelly

u so jelly


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